this cake experience feels like a fever dream. like actually. i agreed to do it while i was sick and the kind of tired that you can't wake up from. i slept fourteen hours that day. if you don't believe me, you can check my fitbit. and while you're at it, you'll see that i have over 12,000 steps today. no big deal.
anyway, i agreed to this in a less-than-ideal mental state. yes, i was going to make a cake no matter what. but would i normally agree to make a cake with faces on it? loyal readers (all three of you. hi, allison.) know that i, in fact, absolutely hate face cakes.
a cool portmanteau for face + cakes is "fakes." and that's pretty apt because i feel like a fucking fraud when i try to pull something like this off. a phony. a charlatan. a sheep in a wolf sweater or whatever.
not only is this a "fake," but it's a "fake" with twins who don't even look like twins. and twins who don't look like twins wearing yoda and r2-d2 halloween costumes. in real life, it is the cutest thing you've ever seen. in "fake" life, friends ask, "why is one dressed like shrek and the other in a blue hat?"
oh, i don't know, why do i even bother living?
the one good thing about these "fakes" is that they are usually made for a very specific audience. an audience who requested it and gets what's going on. an audience who knows that they are twins even though they don't look the same. that's the only good thing.
looking at it now, though, i'm reminded of one of shrek's more famous quotes: "do or do not, there is no try."
so, from now on i will do not these "fakes" anymore. if you want one, take your business elsewhere. unless, it's super good business... then, i'm open to it... i've got two pairs of the same sweatpant to buy.
TOTAL DECORATING TIME: 3 hours + 5 refills of sweet tea at gus's fried chicken after dropping this cake off. i would've gone for a 6th, but the server brought me a to-go lid, the universal sign for, "please leave before you get diabetes."
not my gumdrop buttons,