(i've tried to start this blog about sixteen different times. which beyonce reference do i make first? did you know she's from houston? did you know i'm also from houston? did you know that makes our relationship like super special and real?)
this blog is not worthy of beyonce in any way, shape, likeness, or form. not even a little bit. so, i definitely apologize for that. is it even worth it to talk about other "art" when god herself is out here, walking the earth, making art, too? it's not. it's really not.
but honestly, y'all, this cake makes me really happy. like as happy as beyonce was with jay-z. like happy enough to write a whole album about him. so many songs about their happiness.
i do want to thank bey, though. i have no doubt that she mused me, that her spirit entered my soul and channeled her greatness through my tiny, tiny, disproportionately-tiny-for-the-rest-of-my-body hands. when i decided to make a cake for my friend's birthday, the entire execution of this thing came to me completely formed, like a lego model after you put the legos together. and when i was finished, i heard an angelic voice whisper in my ear, "good job, b."
then, bey's spirit left me. and donald trump is still going to be the president. and everything is awful. and fuck america.
but this cake, though. this cake doesn't suck. right?
TOTAL DECORATING TIME: 1 hour + ZERO MINUTES HAVING TO MIX A SINGLE ICING COLOR. GOD BLESS YOURSELF BEYONCE GISELLE KNOWLES CARTER.
the hip hop rappin',