before i start talking about this cake specifically, i feel as though i need to set up some things about this weekend. "this weekend" as in the one in which i baked this cake, not "this weekend" as in this weekend in which i am writing this. because those are two separate weekends.
shit, i know, time is a trippy concept, man. do try to keep up.
so, "this weekend" had many factors at play that destined it to be the hardest weekend in baking history. at least according to wikipedia.
1. i was asked to make two cakes for the same day.
sure. that's happened to me before. really not a big deal. you just hit a point where you tell yourself, "listen, fucker,* you're not going to get a lot of sleep tonight. so, stop checking your facebook and those dawson's creek fan boards and get to work."
1a. i was asked by two of my bosses to make two cakes for the same day.
alright, this is totally fine. happens to me all the time. that people with real parties and real friends and real requests want something that is nice and presentable for their guests to see. oh, sure, that is what sassy badger is all about. i don't know if you've seen the quality of this free blog i use to promote myself, but my business is nothing if not professional.
2. i didn't have a refrigerator.
i have recently moved. don't ask me where. and the refrigerator that was supposed to come the day before the weekend did not... and refrigerators, i don't know if you know this, are good at keeping things cold. and there are a lot of things that should be kept cold while baking. mostly alcohol. but, basically, no refrigerator was bad news bears. the original, not the remake.
also, it's hot in the city where i live. no, i won't tell you which one, so stop asking. but that made it extra difficult to keep things from melting. it required lots of macgyvering of the air-conditioning and fans and ice chests, and it was just so, so, so, so difficult... please let me know if you need my address to send me that medal of bravery. omg, stop trying to figure out where i live.
3. my mom was in town.
ugh. moms are the worst, am i right? always asking, "what can i do for you?" "how can i help?" "want me to slave away in your hot kitchen while you're at work so that things are ready for you when you get home?" like, just shut up and make me a sandwich already.
so, that was the situation of "this weekend." once you've all taken a moment to reflect on what a trooper i am, we can talk about this spider-man cake.
now, i've done a spider-man cake before. but, obviously, i had to make this one different. obviously, i had to make things more difficult on myself. obviously, i'll be getting that medal in the mail any day now.
anyway, this cake was for my boss's son and his birthday party of 25 six-year-olds. like i said before, it's kind of terrifying to send your cake out into a situation like that... where everyone is sober. it actually has to look good. and you can't get away with writing snarky, profanity-filled things on the cake because, you know, fucking six-year-olds.
luckily, a cake that feeds twenty-five is massive. it gave me a lot of room to add the details to the spidey suit, which i was actually very worried about. by the time i went to bed, i thought it was the most hideous cake i'd ever made. but, just like no one-night stand ever, it looked way better in the morning. and i'm actually pretty happy with it.
just a little bit of very specific trivia that you certainly do not care about: there are gummy bears inside that cake. i wish i had gotten a picture, but somebody flipped the cake over and iced it before i got a chance. jesus, ma, you had one job to do...
TOTAL DECORATING TIME: 3 hours + one delicious sandwich. thanks, mom.
playing spider-man in the reboot of the reboot,
*it's okay for me to call myself that. we're close friends.