"coogan's trade" - i'm a star

on the same night that i was making the construction cake, i had also agreed to make not one, but two cakes for my friend. normally, even i would say "hell to the no." however, he provided me with a very important piece of information:

"they don't have to look good."

here's the thing. he needed the cakes for a webseries he was shooting. without giving too much away, the character making the cake was not supposed to be good at decorating. do you know how easy it is to decorate like you worthless, shitty peons? you have it really good. you are, for sure, too blessed to be stressed. never forget, assholes. every time you're sprinkling your funfetti sprinkles and thinking "that looks pretty good," thank whatever beyonce you pray to that you aren't burdened with talent like mine.

even easier than looking like crap, the cakes needed to look the same... because continuity reasons. hollywood, you guys. making similar cakes was actually pretty easy because once i try something, i'm really good and perfect at it, so doing it a second time is no trouble at all.

i really don't want to give too much away because, who knows, he could make it big tomorrow and the webseries could get picked up by nbc (rip parks and rec) and SPOILER ALERT: i don't want to spoil anything that could happen in them. but "coogan's trade" is a fake show within his show. without further ado, a tale of two cakes:

honestly, by the second picture, i was worried that the cakes were going to turn out too good. so, i tried to mess them up as i went along. i hurried myself. i didn't overthink anything. i was pleased that they 1. looked pretty similar and 2. looked like the worst thing i'd decorated in a long time. 

however, i guess you can't cage in the genius that is sassy badger. i got a text from my friend after they were done shooting, saying that they had to rewrite the scene because my cakes were, in fact, too good. i felt pretty terrible, but he said it made the scene funnier.

look at me! crushing cake decorating and comedy writing simultaneously. that's a resume booster for sure. but, let me be real here for the first time on this blog, i am pretty excited to see how the episode turns out. i've never been asked to do something like this, and it was kind of cool. i'm gonna be famous, you guys. alright, sharing time is over. back to being a black hole of snark. 

TOTAL DECORATING TIME: 2 hours + 19 naps throughout the night. sassy badger don't sleep.

somebody bring me some ham,

sassy badger